Hey everyone, I wrote this waaaaaay back towards the end of 2014 on my barely used and well intentioned blog (that you never have to go to again because I don’t use it).
One could argue that this piece was my very first attempt at a Behind the Curtain article, and it stirred up a minor spat or two on Inraptured (but what doesn’t) because I threw it out there without any sort of context.
Well, I’ve provided plenty of context for this section of my blog is about, and how it is here to offer a harder look and context at the business of our scene, so that said, let’s all enjoy some time travel and remember:
Your Hypnodomme is Not Your Girlfriend
(Some content bolded/italicized for emphasis, like a school text book)
This might cut close to home.
The woman you are buying your hypno-porn from is not now, nor will she ever be your girlfriend.
What’s worse than that, she’s only nice to you because that’s part of customer service.
OK, that’s not going to be true 100% of the time but chances are your friendship (if you have one or think you have one) is probably the same kind of friendship you have with your regulars or as a regular at a place you go.
The hard truth is that in addition to buying a product, your money is buying a certain amount of time and energy that goes into getting more of your money.
I was in sales and customer service, trust me on this one when I say:
“The more time someone spends with you, the more energy they invest in you, the greater the financial return will be.”
That’s why baristas smile at you, why waiters and waitresses flirt with you, that’s why small talk happens during financial transactions.
There’s also the fact that people are social animals and we feel compelled by social conventions to speak with each other as a form of acknowledging they exist, but that’s what happens when you’re face to face with people.
When you buy an mp3 or a video online you’ve abstracted the concept of purchasing a piece of content from another person about as far as it can go.
Not only that, you’re buying a fantasy, one you will probably never have in a real time real life romantic relationship, from a woman who presents themselves as the embodiment of your fantasies.
You are buying a piece of digital content over the internet with your credit card from a person playing a character.
There is nothing concrete there, nothing except your emotional reaction to the experience, and that in and of itself is a purely selfish response to the transaction.
And honestly, there’s nothing wrong with that.
Not unless you lose track of what’s happening, not unless you lose perspective.
And that’s so easy to do because of everything.
You have an emotional need to have your fantasies fulfilled or at very least enacted. When you get a taste of it, it’s amazing and you need to reach out and express your appreciation to the person that made it happen.
You say thank you, and maybe you say you can’t wait to get more.
She, or at least her character, says you’re welcome and makes you feel good because she knows if you like the experience you’ll come back again, or maybe escalate what you want. Maybe you’ll shop her catalogue, maybe you’ll order a live session or a custom.
(Or maybe you’ll tribute if that’s the game you two are playing.)
Also, there’s manners and manners happen, but even manners have utility.
You have utility, you’re a customer.
Remember, she’s a business person and she’s a character, and you see those faces long before, or if at all, before you see her as a person.
She might also be an actress or a performer.
Regardless of all that, and even if you do get to know her as a business person, or her character, or what parts of the real her she shares with you, you’re still paying for the privilege.
That’s what it all comes down to, you’re paying for time, and that’s why no matter how nice she is to you, no matter how much time you spend conversing, when it’s in the social construct of client and provider, it all comes back to money.
And there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you keep perspective.
When I was in retail, I dated 7 different customers and co-workers from different stores. Each and every one of those dates was more awkward than any other date I’ve ever been on because the two of us only knew each other from the context of customer and provider, or as co-workers who met at a regional meeting etc.
The social constructs in place bind us to interacting with each other by a certain enforced set of parameters, and every time, neither of us turned out to be who we were within those parameters.
The rules of commerce and the manners that are enforced on us when we interact with each other around commerce keep us polite because our money matters.
She isn’t going to date you, and your phone session isn’t a date.
Your custom recording isn’t a date.
Your emails are not flirty texts between lovers.
This doesn’t mean you’re nothing more than a walking dollar sign, but your relationship with her character and her business comes from money.
She has something you want, you have something she wants.
Most of the time it’s money, and some of the time it’s also the sense of elation that comes from being acknowledged, or adored.
Just like the way we all like “likes” and up-votes, we all enjoy kind words, but those don’t pay the rent, those don’t buy food, and if you’re spending your energy working and making a product, then your goal is to be financially compensated for your work.
There are women who live the life of a Domme, and have monetized that, and there are women who play that role for money.
Either way, when you buy a product from a person you are buying the product and the time they are willing to take to entice you into buying another.
Now, there’s a chance you’re thinking that I’m not taking about you. I can almost guarantee that you’re exactly who I’m talking to.
I’m not saying this to be a dick or to rain on your parade, I’m writing this in hopes it gives you some power.
I’m also writing all of this because chasing these fantasies should be a value added life experience.
The files you buy, the videos, the phone sessions, all of it should add to your life and not be a pivot point.
You should love it if you love it, but you need to remember this is your fantasy.
She isn’t going to date you.
She isn’t your girlfriend.
Treat yourself right and remember that.
Even when you realize that she understands these desires and no one else in your life probably does.
Even when you’re experiencing your fantasies come to life because of her work.
Even when that pleasure hits you so hard.
Even though you wish it was all real, and you would do anything to have more of her and what she does to you.
Even when you’re telling her all this.
Even when you’re playing your part in the dynamic you have bought into.
Remember, she is not your girlfriend.
(Man, I just re-read that for the first time in a few years and that’s some hard truth. But, I still stand by this. It was also supposed to be a little tongue in cheek, but the kind of tone I was going for doesn’t really translate to the written word in isolation. Anyway, be good to yourself.)
Also, if you appreciated this article, I’ve created a $1.00 tip goody. I was thinking about selling the articles themselves like I do free stories, but this seems easier for everyone in the long and short run.
3 replies on “Throwback Blog: Your Hypnodomme is not Your Girlfriend”
[…] and not with your brain, and these sorts of broad assertions about humanity have gotten me in trouble with my readers in the past, so let me be clear here, I am talking in the abstract about broad conceptual notions […]
[…] A while ago I wrote an article titled “Your Hypnodomme’s Not Your Girlfriend” […]
[…] The women that make the content we love are often seen as nothing more than a commodity (as is the case in society as a whole… see, I warned you about Feminism showing up), and are not treated as people but as a means to an end, an orgasm, a relationship that fulfills a fantasy, etc. When these women do no respond to this commodification, or to the fantasies that their clients paint over them with, they are attacked, and for some people this includes piracy, because how dare these women abide by supply and demand economics. Further, and remember that I have seen ALL OF THIS UP CLOSE and am not exaggerating or fabricating any of it, there is the sometimes harmless, always difficult reality of clients misconstruing their relationships with their content providers. […]